Good afternoon, welcome to Turnip Towers.
No, there is noone working here. No, they do not answer their phones. No, there are no cups for the water bubble. No, you cannot leave your pamphlets on display here. No, the phone does not work for external calls, you can't access the wifi, and no, I can't photocopy your documents for you. The paper is for reading in the reception room only, you can't take it with you. Please keep your children, dogs and mothers under control. No, I don't have change for the parking meter, and yes, the clampers are very vigilant. No, I can't watch your car for you.
Yes, it is a glorious day, now out you go and enjoy it.
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