Tales from the Banana Phone...

I've long threatened to do this... chronicle the telephone enquiries I take during the course of my working day.

People are too zany to not undertake this mission, there are too many nuggets of comedic gold lost in the mire. No longer!

To start: my all time favourites... within days of each other...


the phone rings...

me: "good afternoon, the Organic Tomato Society"

caller: "good afternoon, is that the Organic Tomato Society?"

me: "yes, indeed, this is the Organic Tomato Society"

caller: "great. can I ask you please, what is your telephone number?"


I check my email, there is an email waiting that has been submitted through the website...

"how do I send you an email?"


And finally... this afternoon... the phone rings

"Good afternoon, the Organic Tomato Society"

caller: "Good afternoon, is that an Sochaí Orgánach Trátaí?"

me: "yeeess... that it is."

caller: "can I ask you please, what is your address?"

me: "of course, it's No 70, Organic Tomato Square"

caller: "no 70... Organic Tomato Square... now, tell me, do I put 'no' or 'number' before the 70?"

me "... ... ..."

me "ehm, I guess you can put either really"

caller: "oh, really? that's great, thank you very much for your help!"

Amazingly, she called back half an hour later, and asked my colleague the same question.